My lines are down, you can't call me.

"All things are created equal"...and are always "loosely based" on another idea. These days we have reality television shows such as The Jersey Shore, Atlanta Housewives, The Hills, Survivor and Lebron's The Decision. Horrible tv that sucks ass and is full of people trying to become famous without having to go to some fancy art school to hone their craft. Reality tv is the easy way out! It's the lazy way in! All of these horrid shows are direct descendants and "loosely based" on a little show entitled The Real World. The Real World premiered in 1993 and the idea of it was a few cameramen following around young people and waiting for one of them to snap and do or say something crazy. What an ingenious idea! Until, fast forward 17 years and one ugly black man with a clock hanging around his neck chasing around stinky tail and reality tv has made an ass of itself. I watch The Real World to this day because I've got the utmost respect for it being the godfather of all reality shows. You can have Flava Flav! I've got Pedro Zamora bitch! You can take Jeff Proebst. I've got Eric Nies bitch! Don't know who that is...google that shit!

I've got a great movie idea. This entire nation of people overtake a certain region of a country and occupy it for a long period of time, like Chinese Dynasty shit. For defamation of character reasons we shall refer to these people as "The Stingy's." The Stingy's control everything that happens in the city of "Boobieland" located in the country of U.S.F....no not the football league..we're pretend naming things. Anyways, The Stingy's produce films in Boobieland and more often times than not they sink money into horrible action movies and chick fliks while low-budget independent films receive all the awards. In Boobieland there's a genius actor that is also a highly underrated director. Again for defamation of character reasons we shall call him Biff Webster. Biff has written, directed and starred in blockbuster movies and some have received awards of the highest honor. One day Biff directs and produces a movie that exposes The Stingy's for what they are and reminds everyone of their past sins. The Stingy's have always been associated with one huge historic event that doesn't make them look like the greatest people. (Side note time: Mexicans have never had one major screw up as a people. Sure they're in the news and most of the time it involves immigration but can you name one time when we as a people have completely embarrassed ourselves? You can't and if you can then I pray a man named Hector Elizondo shoots you in your sleep tonight.) Anyways, Biff's movie is misunderstood but does great at the box office by industry standards and is of course hated by The Stingy's and anyone doing business with them. The Stingy's do not make their feelings public but take every opportunity they get to ruin Biff's life. They paint Biff into a bad picture and drive him and his career down the drain (side note time: in Russian accent "Hops down the fucking drain" ~ John Malkovich). Biff actually goes on a racist tirade against The Stingy's and it becomes a highly publicized event. Biff's life goes into a downward spiral and since The Stingy's control Boobieland and everything in it, Biff is no longer seen as a true movie star. Even Biff's bitch wife gets in on the act and extorts him for money. By the way Biff's wife is not a Stingy even though, at times, she behaves like one. Biff's life has effectively gone to shit!

I don't have an ending to my movie yet but I'm thinking Biff goes on a killing spree, murdering all of The Stingy's in Boobieland and then turns himself in during the Oprah Winfrey show...because everything that is dramatic and pretentious happens on the Oprah Winfrey show. I also have come up with a title for this movie. I shall call it..."The Passion of the Mel Gibson".

I blog 5 miles a day.

Went to see Inception this past weekend. The MJR in Southgate, MI and the AMC in Adrian, MI no longer carry Reese's Pieces! I call shenanigans on that shit. How can you not sell one of the world's greatest candies? Anywho, don't worry about the big intellectual words that Inception throws out at you...it's just to get your mind working. The movie is about stealing and implanting ideas into people's minds thru their dreams. Or at least that's what I gather from it.

Let me tell you, Chris Nolan is a sick individual. I believe in order to be a great writer/director you have to be seriously fucked in the head. Tortured souls just have a bigger imagination and a brain that never stops working. Chris Nolan has only done a few films but all of them are great movies...he's no M. Night Shyma-two-hit-wonder, Nolan is consistently good. If you don't believe me you can imdb him and see that he's done Memento, The Prestige and The Dark Knight. Inception is "deep" but the script is not the most complex script ever. I maintain that that dubious title belongs to Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams.

Inception does hold the title for most baby-faced actors ever on one screen. Leo will never escape his boy-like features and will always look like "match in the gas tank, boom boom." Ellen Page will never escape her Juno role...I was just waiting for her to say something cleverly sarcastic to Leo the entire movie. And don't get me started on the Angels in the Outfield, 3rd Rock from the Sun kid...he will always be young and annoying. Not the best casting job. Leo is a good, solid actor. He's been in a lot of damn good movies but he will never be a great actor. He's been blessed with great screenplays and great directors but he has never really "carried" a film. Have you ever walked away from a Leo movie and said "Damn Leo was bad ass"? Brad Pitt has been bad ass numerous times, Matt Damon was bad ass in Good Will Hunting, Rounders and the Bourne movies, Heath Ledger was bad ass in Dark Knight, even Tom "Foos" Cruise has been bad ass in the past...The first Mission Impossible was a damn good movie.

I will say that the movie is damn good and worth the money. It's not the best movie I've seen this year but it definitely lives up to Chris Nolan's hype...Leo's hype will never live up to it's hype...he's the new Al Pacino...he yells in every movie. The ending can be looked at as clever, but not by this movie critic...I thought it was too obvious of an ending and that it was trying to be a mind-bender a little too much. By the by, Marion Cotillard was in last year's Public Enemies and is still amazingly hott! I do want to scratch off the mole in the middle of her forehead though.

Introduck mothafucka!

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT WE WILL WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE MIAMI HEAT!!!"

Always wanted to say that in all caps...well not always...since Thursday, July 9th I've always wanted to say that in all caps.

Instead of reading about Lilo on TMZ or fighting giraffes caught on camera on MSN why don't you feast your eyes on my random thoughts with input from some creative friends.

Let's get this party started right.....let's get this party started quickly...right...play that beat, play that beat, right!

I will have a wide range of eclectic topics here. We can talk about music, anywhere from Zeppelin to Jeezy, from Jigga to Devo...haha Devo. I'm also a huge movie buff! From Braveheart to Memento to the cocaine Jesus known as Quentin Tarantino to even the Twilight saga and why I think if we were in the "real world" Bella would choose Jacob because chicks dig corny dudes with hot bods.

"Next week we'll talk about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse." ~ Robin Williams